Finding your purpose through your values.
The question I get asked the most in the work that I do is how do I fill the void that alcohol has left? Alcohol actually hasn’t left you with a void it created a void. A void between you and your true authentic self. Booze has stopped you reaching your full potential. But now you have taken the substance away you may be feeling lost, unsure about your future and feelings of emptiness. But the key to changing all of this is through finding your purpose. And to find your purpose you need to look at your values. So let’s break it down.
Finding your purpose is about discovering what truly drives you, what brings you joy, and how you can contribute to the world in a way that feels meaningful. It involves digging deep into your passions, values, and strengths to identify a path that resonates with your authentic self. And if you were anything like me addiction, booze turned you into a person that you didn’t want to be.
It's not just about career choices or ambitions; purpose can manifest in many areas of life, such as relationships, personal growth, and community involvement. This journey often requires reflection and self-exploration, allowing you to understand what matters most to you and how you want to impact others.
When you align your actions with your purpose, life takes on a newfound clarity and direction. You might find yourself feeling more motivated to overcome challenges, more resilient in the face of adversity, and more connected to those around you. Ultimately, finding your purpose is about creating a life that feels fulfilling and true to who you are, paving the way for a sense of contentment and inner peace.
Identifying your values is a crucial step in understanding what matters most to you and guiding your decisions in life, especially on your journey to sobriety. Here's a playful yet structured approach to uncovering your core values:
Reflect on Peak Moments:
Think about times in your life when you felt truly happy, fulfilled, or proud. What were you doing? Who were you with? Write down the experiences and the feelings associated with them to identify patterns.
Evaluate Your Role Models:
Consider the people you admire—whether they are public figures, friends, or family. What qualities do they possess that resonate with you? This can provide insights into the values you aspire to embody.
List a Few Core Principles:
Start with a broad list of values (like honesty, compassion, adventure, or security). Aim for 20-30 options. Then, narrow it down to your top ten. From there, reduce it further to your top five.
Consider Your Feelings:
For each value you identify, ask yourself how it makes you feel. Does it energise you? Do you feel at peace with it? Values that resonate positively often reflect your true self.
Think About Key Life Areas:
Evaluate different aspects of your life—career, relationships, health, and personal growth. How do your values show up in those areas? Identify if any values are missing or need more attention in your life.
Test Your Values:
Put your compiled values to the test. In challenging situations, ask yourself, “Which value should I prioritise here?” This will help you understand which ones truly guide your decisions.
Revisit and Revise:
Your values can evolve over time. It’s essential to periodically revisit this exercise to ensure that your values stay aligned with your current life situation and aspirations.
Finding your values is an ongoing journey. Your values now aren’t going to be the same as they were when you were 18. Embrace it with curiosity and playfulness, knowing that clarity around your values can significantly enhance your emotional regulation and ability to maintain sober relationships.
Figuring out your values is like finding the compass for your journey through life. Once you've identified what truly matters to you—be it connection, creativity, adventure, or even helping others—you can begin to weave these values into your sense of purpose. Lets talk about how you can clarify your purpose based on your values:
Set Intentions: Align your daily intentions with your values. Ask yourself how your daily actions and decisions support your overarching purpose. Setting small, actionable goals can keep you connected to your values and purpose.
Try New Things: Experiment with activities that align with your values. Volunteering, joining clubs, or exploring hobbies can provide insight into what sparks joy and provides a deeper sense of meaning.
Seek Feedback: Talk to friends, family, or even a coach about your values and ideas. Sometimes an outside perspective can illuminate a path you might not have considered. Sharing your journey with others can also help you clarify your values and purpose, fostering deeper connections and mutual understanding.
Stay Flexible: Remember, purpose isn’t always a static destination. It can evolve as you grow. Check in with yourself regularly to see if your purpose still aligns with your values.
Celebrate Progress, Acknowledge and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small. Recognising your successes reinforces your purpose and provides motivation to keep striving toward your goals.
Mindful practices: Regular mindfulness practice can help you tune into your emotions and instincts. By being present, you can better understand what brings you joy and fulfilment, guiding you toward your purpose.
By engaging in these steps, you can develop a clearer sense of purpose and a deeper understanding of your values in recovery, helping you to build a fulfilling and sober life.
Finding your purpose is like piecing together a jigsaw puzzle. With each value you understand, the bigger picture of your life's purpose becomes clearer. Stay playful and curious about the journey!
Remember this is your journey and one thing I have forgot to mention is avoid people pleasing when you are considering all of this. Your values are what you uphold. Your purpose is what motivates and excites YOU. Not your partner or parents. You want to be living your life the way it fits and aligns with you best! Enjoy exploring yourself and getting to know who you really are.